In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "I'm a 35yo woman who’s been married to a really good guy for the last seven years. He never pressures me or anything, but every time I don’t want sex, I instantly feel like i’m being a shitty wife. I know that’s some leftover ‘good girl / keep your man happy’ garbage, but the guilt is still really loud. How do I stop feeling like I’m failing him every time I’m not horny?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

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  Why you never owe anyone sex. Why consent and desire are required every single time, even in a loving and committed marriage.


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  Where the guilt comes from. How “good girl conditioning” teaches us to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over our own boundaries.


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  Obligation sex vs wanted sex. Why a supportive partner should only want intimacy you are genuinely excited about, not sex given out of pressure.


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  How guilt impacts pleasure and connection. How anxiety, obligation, and performance mindset shut down arousal and make sex feel high stakes.


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  What happens when you keep overriding your no’s. Why ignoring your boundaries leads to resentment, disconnect, and a shrinking desire for sex.


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  Rewriting what it means to be a good partner. Why your value is not based on a penis ejaculating, and how honoring your needs strengthens intimacy.


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  How to support your own desire and autonomy. Tools and mindset shifts to release pressure, protect your no’s, and show up with real desire when it is there.

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